Going Solo Review: Why Living Alone Isn’t the Tragedy Everyone Thinks
Book Info
- Book name: Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone
- Author: Eric Klinenberg
- Genre: Sociology, Social Science, Non-fiction
- Pages: 273
- Published Year: 2012
- Publisher: The Penguin Press
- Language: English
- Awards: Heat Wave, another book by Klinenberg, won several scholarly and literary prizes; no specific awards listed for Going Solo
Audio Summary
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Synopsis
Remember when being single meant something was wrong with you? When ‘spinster’ was basically a diagnosis? Eric Klinenberg-NYU sociologist and data nerd-spent years figuring out why that changed. Going Solo tracks how we went from a nation of nuclear families to one where nearly half of all households contain exactly one person. It’s part history lesson, part cultural analysis, and part defense of the solitary life. Klinenberg argues that living alone isn’t loneliness dressed up in a studio apartment-it’s often a deliberate, fulfilling choice enabled by economic shifts, technology, and changing attitudes. The book doesn’t romanticize solo living or pretend it’s for everyone. But it does ask a genuinely interesting question: what if we’ve been thinking about this all wrong?
Key Takeaways
- The Big Idea: Living alone has become a mass phenomenon-not a personal failure-driven by women’s economic independence, urbanization, and technology
- The Controversial Point: Klinenberg suggests that many solo dwellers are actually MORE socially connected than their coupled-up counterparts, which will annoy anyone who thinks marriage is the ultimate social bond
- The Actionable Part: Understanding that solitude and loneliness aren’t the same thing-one is a living arrangement, the other is an emotional state
- The Hidden Gem: The sections on elderly solo living are genuinely moving and raise policy questions most of us never think about until it’s too late
My Summary
The Cold Open: Your Aunt Was Wrong About Everything
So here’s the thing. I picked this up because I’d been living alone for about three years and was getting real tired of the pitying looks at family gatherings. You know the ones. The ‘don’t worry, you’ll find someone’ head tilts. (Spoiler: I wasn’t worried. I had a whole apartment to myself and nobody eating my leftovers.)
Klinenberg’s book basically validates what millions of us already suspected-that the cultural panic around single people is, well, kinda outdated. And he’s got the receipts. Mountains of sociological data showing that going solo isn’t some new plague. It’s a legitimate lifestyle choice that’s been quietly reshaping society for decades.
The Writing: Academic But Not Annoying
Look, Klinenberg is a professor. You can tell. The prose is clean and competent-never exciting, but never painful either. He’s not trying to be your witty friend at a dinner party. He’s trying to explain a social phenomenon, and he does it without drowning you in jargon.
That said-and this is where I gotta be honest-the book does meander. There are sections where you feel like you’re reading someone’s very thorough dissertation notes rather than a book meant for actual humans. The statistical breakdowns are solid but occasionally feel like he’s padding the page count. (Every nonfiction writer does this. I’ve done this. We all have sins.)
The interview excerpts save it though. When Klinenberg lets his subjects talk, the book comes alive. Real people with real stories about why they chose solitude-or had it thrust upon them.
What Actually Lands
The historical context is genuinely fascinating. Turns out, living alone was basically impossible for most of human history. You needed other people just to survive. The explosion of solo living is really a story about infrastructure, technology, and economic independence-especially for women.
Between 1950 and 2000, working women in America jumped from 18 million to 66 million. That’s not a typo. Women could finally afford to leave bad marriages-or skip marriage entirely. Revolutionary stuff that we now take for granted.
And then there’s technology. Klinenberg wrote this in 2012, so some of the tech stuff feels a bit dated now. But his core point holds: being alone doesn’t mean being disconnected. Your friends are a text away. The internet-for all its horrors-keeps solo dwellers plugged into community.
Where It Gets Wobbly
Here’s my gripe. The book is very, VERY American. Like, almost exclusively. Klinenberg occasionally gestures at Scandinavian countries (where solo living is even more common), but this is fundamentally a study of American singlehood. If you’re reading from literally anywhere else, you might feel a bit left out.
Also-and readers have complained about this loudly-there’s no real ‘so what do we do about it’ section. Klinenberg identifies problems, especially around aging alone, but doesn’t offer much in the way of solutions. It’s descriptive sociology, not prescriptive. Which is fine! But if you came looking for a guidebook, you’ll leave frustrated.
The Aging Alone Stuff Will Haunt You
Fair warning: the chapters on elderly solo dwellers are rough. Not badly written-actually some of the best material in the book-but emotionally heavy. Klinenberg doesn’t sugarcoat the risks of growing old alone in a society that isn’t built for it. These sections felt less like sociology and more like a quiet alarm bell.
Made me think about infrastructure I’d never considered. Who checks on you when you’re 80 and living solo? What happens when you can’t drive anymore? It’s the kind of stuff that’s easy to ignore at 30 but becomes very real later.
The Verdict: Worth Your Time, With Caveats
Going Solo isn’t life-changing. It’s not going to rewire your brain or make you rethink your entire existence. But it IS a solid, well-researched corrective to a bunch of outdated cultural narratives. If you’ve ever felt defensive about your single status-or just curious about why solo living exploded-Klinenberg delivers the goods.
Just don’t expect fireworks. This is a sociologist doing sociology. Competent, interesting, occasionally dry. The kind of book you’re glad you read but probably won’t reread.
Further Reading
Going Solo by Eric Klinenberg – Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/305485/going-solo-by-eric-klinenberg/
Going Solo by Eric Klinenberg | Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11797459-going-solo
Eric Klinenberg on Going Solo – Smithsonian Magazine: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/eric-klinenberg-on-going-solo-19299815/
Going Solo by Eric Klinenberg | Review | Spirituality & Practice: https://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/book-reviews/view/25220/going-solo
Going Solo by Eric Klinenberg – The Guardian Review: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2012/may/03/going-solo-eric-klinenberg-review
Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone – Google Books: https://books.google.com/books/about/Going_Solo.html?id=cz6wrxjEimAC
