Perfectly Confident by Don A. Moore: How to Calibrate Your Decisions Wisely Without Overconfidence
Book Info
- Book name: Perfectly Confident
- Author: Don A. Moore
- Genre: Self-Help & Personal Development, Social Sciences & Humanities (Psychology)
- Published Year: 2020
- Publisher: HarperCollins
- Language: English
Audio Summary
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Synopsis
In Perfectly Confident, organizational behavior expert Don A. Moore challenges the popular notion that more confidence always leads to better outcomes. Drawing on decades of psychological research, Moore reveals how both overconfidence and underconfidence can sabotage our decision-making. Through compelling examples—from the 2008 financial crisis to everyday workplace scenarios—he demonstrates that the key to success isn’t simply believing in yourself, but accurately calibrating your confidence to match your actual abilities. This practical guide offers readers a roadmap to making wiser decisions by understanding their limitations, recognizing when they’re overestimating their competence, and learning when they’re selling themselves short.
Key Takeaways
- Overconfidence is dangerous and can lead to catastrophic failures, from personal setbacks to global economic crises
- Underconfidence often stems from comparing your behind-the-scenes struggles with others’ polished final products
- The sweet spot of confidence involves accurate self-assessment—knowing both your strengths and your limitations
- Effective decision-making requires acknowledging uncertainty rather than relying solely on intuition
- Success comes from using confidence as motivation to do the work, not as a substitute for preparation
My Summary
The Confidence Paradox We All Face
I’ll be honest—when I first picked up Perfectly Confident, I expected another self-help book telling me to believe in myself more. You know the type: visualize success, think positive thoughts, and everything will work out. But Don A. Moore flips that script completely, and it’s refreshing.
As someone who’s spent years writing and blogging about books, I’ve encountered countless confidence gurus preaching absolute self-belief. Moore’s approach is different because it’s grounded in actual research rather than motivational platitudes. He’s a professor at UC Berkeley’s Haas School of Business, and his work focuses on judgment and decision-making—so when he talks about confidence, he’s not selling snake oil.
The core premise is deceptively simple: too much confidence is just as problematic as too little. We’ve all been told that confidence is everything, but Moore argues that’s only half the story. The real skill is calibrating your confidence to match reality.
When Overconfidence Becomes Dangerous
Moore opens with a quote often attributed to Henry Ford: “Think you can or think you can’t—either way, you’re right.” It’s motivational poster material, sure, but Moore dissects why this mindset can actually be harmful.
The problem with blind confidence is that it short-circuits our decision-making process. We humans rarely have all the information we need to make perfect choices, so we rely on intuition and gut feelings. But when that intuition is inflated by overconfidence, we make catastrophic mistakes.
The 2008 financial crisis serves as Moore’s prime example, and it hit home for me. I remember those years vividly—watching friends lose jobs, seeing retirement accounts evaporate. Moore explains that the crisis wasn’t just about complex financial instruments; it was fundamentally about overconfidence. Bankers, traders, and regulators all believed they understood the value and risk of subprime mortgages. They were so confident in their models and expertise that they didn’t question whether they might be wrong.
Spoiler alert: they were very wrong, and millions of people paid the price.
What struck me most was Moore’s discussion of psychologist Gabriele Oettingen’s research. She found that people who fantasize more about future success are actually less likely to achieve it. This contradicts everything we’ve been told about positive thinking and visualization.
Think about it in practical terms. A student who’s convinced he’s already mastered the material might skip studying and bomb the test. A company that expects stellar quarterly results might not make necessary changes and end up in the red. Meanwhile, the student who’s worried about the exam studies harder, and the company anticipating losses implements improvements.
The lesson isn’t to become pessimistic—it’s to let appropriate concern motivate action rather than letting false confidence replace it.
The Marathon Mindset
Moore uses a perfect analogy here: confidence alone won’t let you finish a marathon if you’ve never run before. But confidence can give you the push to start training one mile at a time.
This resonates with my own experience as a writer. When I started my first book, I had confidence that I could tell a good story. But that confidence didn’t magically produce a manuscript. What it did was get me to sit down and write that first terrible draft. The actual work—revising, editing, rewriting—that came from understanding my limitations and being willing to improve.
The Hidden Trap of Underconfidence
While overconfidence gets more attention, Moore dedicates significant space to the opposite problem: underconfidence. This section felt particularly personal because I’ve definitely fallen into this trap.
Moore’s insight is brilliant: we tend to be underconfident about things we don’t do frequently or find difficult. That seems obvious, right? Nobody would call themselves a great golfer if they’ve never played. But here’s the twist—we often underestimate ourselves because we compare our internal struggles with others’ external successes.
The language learning example Moore provides is spot-on. You’re in a class, everyone seems to speak better than you, so you conclude you’re just not good with languages. But what you don’t see is the hours others spend drilling vocabulary at home, the private tutoring sessions, or the fact that they’re struggling too—just not in front of you.
The Imposter Syndrome Connection
This ties directly into imposter syndrome, something I’ve wrestled with throughout my career. Moore points out that even John Steinbeck—a Nobel Prize winner!—said, “I am not a writer. I’ve been fooling myself and other people.”
If Steinbeck felt like a fraud, what hope do the rest of us have?
The answer, according to Moore, is recognizing that this feeling comes from an information asymmetry. You see all your own struggles, doubts, and failures. You see only others’ polished final products. It’s like comparing your blooper reel to someone else’s highlight reel.
Moore uses the example of body image, which is uncomfortably accurate. You know every scar, blemish, and imperfection on your own body because you see it daily. But everyone else’s body has imperfections too—you just don’t see them as intimately. The same principle applies to skills, talents, and accomplishments.
The solution isn’t to assume you’re secretly brilliant at everything. It’s to stop comparing your messy process with others’ finished products. Focus on your own progress rather than everyone else’s perceived perfection.
Why We’re Terrible at Predicting the Future
Moore dedicates a substantial portion of the book to forecasting—how we predict future outcomes and why we’re generally awful at it.
Every major decision involves some kind of forecast. Choosing a career path? You’re forecasting which field will be fulfilling and financially stable. Buying a house? You’re forecasting whether the neighborhood will remain desirable and whether you can afford the mortgage long-term. Starting a business? You’re forecasting market demand, competition, and your ability to execute.
The problem is that we consistently overestimate our ability to predict the future. We forget about uncertainty and treat our best guesses as facts.
Moore doesn’t provide all the details in the summary I received, but his point is clear: we need to build uncertainty into our decision-making process. Acknowledge what you don’t know. Consider multiple scenarios. Plan for things going differently than expected.
Practical Applications for Better Decisions
In my own work running Books4soul.com, I’ve learned to apply this thinking. When I’m deciding which books to feature or how to grow the site, I try to separate what I know from what I’m guessing. I ask myself: What evidence do I actually have? What am I assuming? What could go wrong?
This doesn’t mean becoming paralyzed by doubt. It means making decisions with eyes wide open to both possibilities and limitations.
For everyday applications, Moore’s framework works like this:
In your career: Before accepting a job or promotion, honestly assess whether you have the skills required—not whether you can fake confidence about having them. If there are gaps, acknowledge them and make a plan to develop those skills.
In relationships: Don’t assume you know what your partner is thinking or feeling. Overconfidence in reading others leads to miscommunication and conflict. Ask questions. Check assumptions.
In financial decisions: Whether investing or making major purchases, recognize that you probably don’t have all the information you need. Build in buffers for being wrong. Don’t bet everything on your forecast being correct.
In creative pursuits: Confidence can get you started, but honest self-assessment keeps you improving. Seek feedback. Compare your work to your own past performance, not to others’ highlights.
In learning new skills: Expect to struggle. Everyone does. The difference between people who succeed and those who quit is often just persistence through the difficult early stages.
What Makes This Book Different
Having read dozens of books on decision-making and psychology, I can say that Moore’s approach stands out for several reasons.
First, it’s evidence-based without being academic. Moore draws on rigorous research but explains it in accessible language. You don’t need a psychology degree to understand his points.
Second, it challenges popular wisdom. In a self-help landscape dominated by “believe in yourself” messaging, Moore has the courage to say that’s not always good advice. That contrarian stance is backed by solid research, not just contrarianism for its own sake.
Third, it’s balanced. Moore isn’t saying confidence is bad—he’s saying miscalibrated confidence is bad. The goal is accuracy, not pessimism.
How It Compares to Similar Books
If you’ve read Daniel Kahneman’s Thinking, Fast and Slow, you’ll recognize some similar themes about cognitive biases and decision-making errors. But where Kahneman provides a comprehensive tour of how our minds work, Moore focuses specifically on confidence calibration.
Carol Dweck’s Mindset is another relevant comparison. Dweck emphasizes growth mindset—the belief that abilities can be developed through effort. Moore would likely agree but would add that you also need accurate assessment of your current abilities to know where to focus that effort.
Annie Duke’s Thinking in Bets shares Moore’s emphasis on uncertainty and probabilistic thinking. Both books push readers to acknowledge what they don’t know and make decisions accordingly.
The Limitations Worth Noting
No book is perfect, and Perfectly Confident has some limitations worth acknowledging.
Some critics have pointed out that Moore focuses heavily on individual decision-making while giving less attention to structural and systemic factors. The 2008 financial crisis wasn’t just about overconfident individuals—it was also about regulatory failures, perverse incentives, and institutional problems.
Additionally, while Moore provides solid principles, readers looking for step-by-step techniques might find the book somewhat abstract. It’s more about shifting your mindset than following a specific protocol.
There’s also a cultural dimension that could be explored more deeply. Confidence norms vary significantly across cultures. What’s considered appropriate confidence in American business culture might be seen as arrogance elsewhere, or vice versa.
Questions Worth Pondering
As I finished the book, several questions stuck with me:
How do you distinguish between appropriate caution and self-sabotaging underconfidence? There’s a fine line between recognizing your limitations and selling yourself short.
In a world that often rewards confidence over competence—where bold claims get funding and promotions while careful caveats get ignored—how do you maintain calibrated confidence without being left behind?
These aren’t questions Moore necessarily answers completely, but they’re worth grappling with as you apply his ideas.
Why This Book Matters Now
We’re living in an era of unprecedented confidence in all the wrong places. Social media rewards bold claims and confident assertions, regardless of accuracy. Political leaders make promises with absolute certainty despite complex, uncertain situations. Entrepreneurs pitch investors with unwavering confidence about unpredictable markets.
Meanwhile, genuinely qualified people—especially women and minorities—often underestimate themselves and miss opportunities because they’re waiting to feel “ready.”
Moore’s framework offers a way forward. By calibrating confidence to match reality, we can make better decisions personally and collectively. We can support leaders who acknowledge uncertainty rather than those who pretend to have all the answers. We can encourage people to pursue opportunities while also doing the work to succeed.
My Final Thoughts
Reading Perfectly Confident shifted how I think about my own decision-making. I’ve caught myself multiple times since finishing it, recognizing when I’m being overconfident about something I don’t actually know well, or when I’m being too hard on myself about normal struggles.
The book isn’t a quick fix or a simple formula. It’s more like a lens for seeing yourself and your decisions more clearly. And honestly, that’s more valuable than any confidence hack.
If you’re a leader making high-stakes decisions, this book is essential reading. If you’re someone who struggles with imposter syndrome, it’ll help you understand why and give you tools to move forward. If you’re just trying to make better choices in everyday life, Moore’s insights will serve you well.
I’d love to hear from others who’ve read this book or who struggle with finding the right confidence balance. How do you calibrate your confidence in different areas of your life? Where do you tend to be overconfident, and where do you sell yourself short? Drop your thoughts in the comments—I’m genuinely curious about how others navigate this challenge.
Further Reading
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49946989-perfectly-confident
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/perfectly-confident-don-a-moore
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_A._Moore_(academic)
