Dolly Chugh – The Person You Mean to Be: Book Review & Audio Summary

Book Info

• Book name: The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias
• Author: Dolly Chugh
• Genre: Self-Help & Personal Development, Social Sciences & Humanities (Psychology, Sociology)
• Pages: 384
• Published Year: 2021
• Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
• Language: English
• Awards: Winner of the 2022 Nautilus Book Award in the category of Personal Growth

Audio Summary

Synopsis

In “The Person You Mean to Be,” NYU professor Dolly Chugh challenges our assumptions about being “good people” by revealing the unconscious biases we all carry. Drawing from cutting-edge psychological research, Chugh introduces the concept of being a “builder”—someone who continuously works on recognizing and addressing their biases rather than claiming to be bias-free. Through compelling examples from Hollywood to the workplace, she demonstrates how even progressive, well-intentioned individuals harbor hidden prejudices. The book offers a refreshingly honest approach to personal growth, encouraging readers to adopt a growth mindset about their own biases and providing practical strategies for becoming better allies in the fight for equality.

Key Takeaways

• Unconscious bias affects everyone, regardless of how progressive or open-minded we believe ourselves to be—the key is acknowledging it rather than denying it
• Adopting a growth mindset about bias means accepting that we’re all works in progress and continuously learning, rather than claiming to be “already good”
• The Implicit Association Test (IAT) reveals that our unconscious minds process 99.999% of information automatically, including prejudicial associations we’d consciously reject
• Becoming a “builder” rather than a “believer” means actively working to dismantle bias through concrete actions instead of simply believing in equality
• Understanding privilege and systemic inequality requires moving beyond defensiveness to genuine curiosity about others’ experiences

My Summary

Why This Book Hit Me Differently

I’ll be honest—when I first picked up “The Person You Mean to Be,” I thought I’d be reading another book telling me what I already knew about bias and discrimination. Boy, was I wrong. Dolly Chugh’s approach completely flipped my understanding of what it means to be a “good person” on its head.

As someone who considers himself progressive and aware, I found myself squirming uncomfortably in my chair more than once while reading this. And that’s exactly what makes this book so valuable. Chugh doesn’t let anyone off the hook—not even those of us who think we’ve done the work. She’s a professor at NYU’s Stern School of Business, and her expertise in social psychology shines through without ever feeling preachy or academic.

What struck me most was her central argument: the problem isn’t that we’re bad people, but that we’re too busy trying to prove we’re good people. That distinction might seem subtle, but it’s revolutionary.

The Growth Mindset Revolution Applied to Bias

Chugh opens with a powerful concept that frames the entire book: the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset when it comes to bias. Most of us are familiar with Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset in education—the idea that intelligence and abilities can be developed through effort and learning. But applying this concept to our moral character? That’s where things get interesting.

She introduces us to Perron Charles, a documentary filmmaker who tackled autism as a subject despite knowing very little about it. His willingness to learn led to “Autism: The Musical,” a film that touched millions. This exemplifies the growth mindset—acknowledging what you don’t know and being open to learning.

Now contrast that with Hollywood’s fixed mindset about representation. The statistics Chugh presents are staggering: only 27% of speaking roles in top-grossing films go to women, and 48 of the highest-grossing films in 2015 had zero Black actors in speaking roles. Only 4% of new movies are directed by women. These aren’t just numbers—they represent a systemic belief that certain stories and faces are more valuable than others.

What resonated with me personally was recognizing my own fixed mindset moments. How many times have I dismissed an opportunity to learn about someone different from me because I assumed I “already knew” or it wasn’t relevant to my life? Chugh’s framework helped me see that every interaction is a chance to grow—if I’m willing to admit I don’t have all the answers.

The Uncomfortable Truth About Our Unconscious Minds

Here’s where the book gets really uncomfortable. Chugh explains that our brains process approximately 11 million pieces of information every second, but we’re only consciously aware of about 40 of them. That means 99.999% of our information processing happens unconsciously. Let that sink in for a moment.

This isn’t just theoretical—it’s measurable. Chugh discusses the Implicit Association Test (IAT), developed by Harvard psychologists Mahzarin Banaji, Anthony Greenwald, and Brian Nosek. This online test measures unconscious bias by forcing rapid-fire decisions that bypass our conscious filters.

The results are sobering. About 75% of people who identify as progressive and supportive of gender equality show a strong unconscious bias associating women with family and nurturing, and men with career and work. Even more striking: 85% of white Americans unconsciously associate Black people with dangerous objects like weapons.

I took the IAT while reading this book, and I won’t lie—my results humbled me. Despite consciously believing in equality, my unconscious associations told a different story. That moment of cognitive dissonance was painful but necessary. It’s one thing to intellectually understand unconscious bias; it’s another to see your own biases quantified on a screen.

Chugh emphasizes that these results don’t make us bad people—they make us human. Our brains create shortcuts based on the culture we’ve absorbed since childhood. The media we consume, the neighborhoods we grew up in, the stories we’ve been told—all of this creates unconscious associations. The question isn’t whether we have biases (we all do), but what we do once we’re aware of them.

Builders Versus Believers

One of Chugh’s most powerful contributions is her distinction between “believers” and “builders.” Believers are people who believe in equality and justice but think that belief alone is enough. They might say things like “I don’t see color” or “I treat everyone the same.” Believers are focused on proving they’re already good people.

Builders, on the other hand, recognize that believing in equality isn’t the same as actively building a more equitable world. Builders accept that they’re flawed, that they’ll make mistakes, and that fighting bias is ongoing work, not a destination.

This framework completely changed how I think about allyship. I realized I’d spent years as a believer—thinking that because I voted a certain way or had diverse friends, I was “one of the good ones.” But being a builder means asking harder questions: What am I actively doing to dismantle bias? How am I using my privilege to create opportunities for others? When do I speak up, and when do I step back to amplify other voices?

Chugh provides concrete examples of builder behavior. It’s not about grand gestures—it’s about consistent, small actions. It’s noticing when a meeting room is dominated by one demographic and actively seeking other perspectives. It’s questioning why your reading list, podcast subscriptions, or social media follows might lack diversity. It’s being willing to feel uncomfortable and sit with that discomfort rather than rushing to defend yourself.

The Privilege Paradox

Chugh tackles one of the most contentious topics in discussions about bias: privilege. She notes that when people are reminded of their privileges—whether based on race, gender, socioeconomic status, or other factors—the typical response is defensiveness rather than reflection.

Why? Because we tend to focus on our struggles rather than our advantages. A white person from a working-class background might think, “I worked hard for everything I have—nobody handed me anything.” And that might be true. But privilege doesn’t mean life was easy; it means certain obstacles weren’t placed in your path because of your identity.

The book explores how privilege operates in education, healthcare, housing, and employment. White Americans, on average, have access to better schools, receive better medical care, can secure housing in safer neighborhoods more easily, and face fewer barriers in hiring processes. These aren’t individual choices—they’re systemic patterns.

What I appreciated about Chugh’s approach is that she doesn’t shame people for having privilege. Instead, she encourages us to acknowledge it and consider how we might use it constructively. This reframing helped me move past my own defensiveness. Rather than feeling guilty about advantages I didn’t ask for, I started thinking about how I could leverage them to create opportunities for others.

Practical Applications for Daily Life

One of the strengths of “The Person You Mean to Be” is that it doesn’t just diagnose the problem—it offers actionable solutions. Here are some of the practices I’ve started implementing based on Chugh’s recommendations:

Audit your influences: I looked at the books I read, the podcasts I listen to, and the news sources I follow. Were they predominantly from one perspective? I’ve since diversified my media consumption, and it’s genuinely expanded my understanding of issues I thought I already knew about.

Practice “generous listening”: When someone shares an experience of discrimination or bias, the builder response isn’t to defend yourself or explain why they’re wrong. It’s to listen with genuine curiosity and believe their experience, even if it differs from yours. This has been challenging for me—my instinct is often to problem-solve or offer counterpoints. But I’ve found that simply listening and saying “thank you for sharing that” opens up much deeper conversations.

Interrupt bias when you see it: This doesn’t mean becoming the bias police or calling people out aggressively. It means gently questioning assumptions. If someone says “we need to hire the best person for the job” as a reason not to prioritize diversity, you might ask, “How are we defining ‘best,’ and could our criteria be inadvertently excluding qualified candidates?”

Acknowledge your mistakes: I’ve started being more open about when I get things wrong. Recently, I made an assumption about a colleague’s background that was incorrect and based on stereotypes. Instead of getting defensive or making excuses, I simply said, “I’m sorry. That was a biased assumption on my part, and I’m working on being more aware of those patterns.” The conversation that followed was far more productive than if I’d tried to justify my mistake.

Seek discomfort: Chugh emphasizes that growth happens outside our comfort zones. I’ve started intentionally putting myself in situations where I’m not the majority—whether that’s attending events, joining organizations, or simply having conversations where I’m the one learning rather than teaching.

Where the Book Could Go Further

While I found “The Person You Mean to Be” incredibly valuable, it’s not without limitations. The book focuses heavily on race and gender bias, which are certainly crucial, but I would have appreciated more discussion of other forms of bias—ableism, ageism, bias against LGBTQ+ individuals, and religious discrimination, for example.

Additionally, while Chugh provides excellent individual-level strategies, I wanted more guidance on systemic change. How do we move from personal growth to organizational transformation? What does it look like to be a builder within institutions that resist change?

Some readers might also find the book’s research-heavy approach a bit dense. Chugh draws from numerous psychological studies, which lends credibility but can occasionally slow the narrative. I didn’t mind this—I appreciate the scientific grounding—but if you’re looking for a quick, breezy read, this might feel more like a textbook at times.

How This Compares to Other Books on Bias

If you’re familiar with books like “Blindspot” by Mahzarin Banaji and Anthony Greenwald or “Biased” by Jennifer Eberhardt, you’ll recognize some overlapping concepts. However, Chugh’s unique contribution is her focus on the growth mindset framework and the builder versus believer distinction.

Where “Blindspot” excels at explaining the science of unconscious bias and “Biased” powerfully illustrates how bias operates in criminal justice specifically, “The Person You Mean to Be” is more focused on personal transformation and everyday applications. It’s less about understanding bias as an abstract concept and more about what you do with that understanding tomorrow morning.

I’d also compare it favorably to Robin DiAngelo’s “White Fragility,” though Chugh’s tone is less confrontational and more invitational. Both books challenge readers to examine their complicity in systems of inequality, but Chugh’s approach feels more focused on building people up rather than calling them out.

Questions Worth Sitting With

Chugh’s book left me with questions I’m still wrestling with, and I think that’s the sign of a truly impactful read. Here are a few I’ve been pondering:

What would change in my life if I stopped trying to prove I’m a good person and instead focused on becoming a better person? How much energy do I waste on defending my intentions rather than examining my impact?

When was the last time I changed my mind about something important? If I can’t remember, does that suggest I’m operating from a fixed rather than growth mindset?

Who is missing from the rooms I’m in—professionally, socially, in my community? And what role might I play in either perpetuating or challenging those absences?

Why This Book Matters Right Now

We’re living in a time of intense polarization, where conversations about bias, privilege, and discrimination often devolve into defensive arguments or virtue signaling. Chugh offers a different path—one that acknowledges our shared humanity while not excusing harmful behavior.

The builder mindset is particularly relevant in our current moment. Social media has created a culture where everyone is performing their values, trying to prove they’re on the “right side” of issues. But as Chugh demonstrates, real change doesn’t come from performing goodness—it comes from the unglamorous, ongoing work of examining ourselves, learning from mistakes, and taking action even when it’s uncomfortable.

This book also arrives at a time when many organizations are grappling with diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives. Too often, these efforts focus on training people to avoid saying the wrong thing rather than fundamentally changing how they think and act. Chugh’s framework offers a more sustainable approach: cultivating builders who see bias work as part of their ongoing personal and professional development.

My Final Thoughts

Reading “The Person You Mean to Be” was humbling, challenging, and ultimately hopeful. Humbling because it forced me to confront biases I didn’t want to acknowledge. Challenging because it demands ongoing work rather than offering easy answers. Hopeful because it presents a path forward that doesn’t require perfection—just commitment.

I keep thinking about Chugh’s assertion that the goal isn’t to be a “good person” but to be a “good-ish person” who’s always learning. That small linguistic shift—adding the “-ish”—takes so much pressure off. It allows for mistakes, for growth, for the messy reality of being human.

If you’re someone who cares about equality and justice but sometimes feels paralyzed by the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing, this book offers permission to be imperfect while still taking action. If you’re someone who thinks you’ve already done the work on bias, this book will likely reveal blind spots you didn’t know you had.

I’d love to hear from others who’ve read this book or are thinking about picking it up. What biases have you discovered in yourself? How are you working to move from believer to builder? What strategies have you found helpful in interrupting bias—both your own and others’? Let’s keep this conversation going in the comments, because if there’s one thing Chugh makes clear, it’s that this work is better done together than alone.